Once Upon a Time (Game)

[Dodger]

...inconveniently placed mutant mount, making Matlu engage in combat, blocking him from his parking spot. This unconventional sight didn't delay Matlu for long, as thinking quickly he called upon his ship to beam a...

[Bakster]

probe. The probe had no effect on the situation, and the mount quickly destroyed the probe. Matlu let out an angry moan and had to dispatch of this fiend or else he would be late for work. There was only one way matlu could win. Matlu decided to...

[Dodger]

an ugly looking bakster standing there, huffing and puffing, whining and crying his eyes out. Matlu says why are you crying bakster?? bakster says, "because i suck at cyber battles and can never win, matlu can you help me stop sucking??". Matlu says sure bakster, lets go the land of gutotimus. There we will find SiR gUt and he will give you the power to win. As matlu and crybaby bakster walked down the red brick road all you can hear were the sounds of bakster going...  WWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH and than all of a sudden bakster get struck by lightning and....

probe. The probe had no effect on the situation, and the mount quickly destroyed the probe. Matlu let out an angry moan and had to dispatch of this fiend or else he would be late for work. There was only one way matlu could win. Matlu decided to...

...Eat some beef jerky. Not because it would improve the situation, just because it made him feel more manly. Matlu then turned around, stood with his hands on his hips and laughed like a pirate until the mutant mount got embarrassed and sulked away. Matlu then dusted his hands off and stepped inside his office, noticing with pleasure that the doors opened automatically for him because he was so great.
But around the corner was something so terrifying that our hero gave a slight shudder, it was...

[Parsley]

... a small girl with braided pig tails and a pink 'Princess' dress.  Matlu had always had a phobia of small girls with braided pig tails and pink 'Princess' dress's since the 'Playground' incident in third grade.  "I've lost my mommy, can you help me?" shrilled the fiend in pink, it's every word searing Matlu's nerves like nails down a blackboard.  But Matlu was a private investigator (apparently), and he never turned down a job.  Well, he occasionally did, but he decided not to this time, otherwise the story would be fairly short.  Through his gritted teeth he nodded to the tearful tyke at his feet.  "My name's Anima," she said, extending her hand skywards in hope of a comforting grasp.  Giving Anima the briefest of limp hand shakes, he grunted, "Matlu, let's go" in reply, before opening the door and traipsing on to a new, and rather exciting, adventure...

[the_slayer]

a vulture swooped down and  grasped anima and  flew away with her matlu jumped in his  gt mustang and raced after it firing his ak 47 mounted on the windshield (convertable so the roofs down) he was falling behind so he hit the booster button and thought to himself...

[Bakster]

..."custard cream cake with cherried caramel chocolate". Matlu licked his lips at this delicious thought, and stopped at the store. Matlu ordered a custard cream cake with cherried caramel chocolate. The shopkeeper couldn't hide his sniggering, and matlu didn't hesitate to shoot him mercilessly with the AK-47. Matlu turned to exit the store, and was shocked to see Homer Simpson! The King of 2D animation handed him a 2D custard cream cake with cherried caramel chocolate before vanishing. Matlu bit into his custard cream cake with cherried caramel chocolate and discovered it was...

[the_slayer]

....it was a huge piece of poop named mr hankey (from south park) matlu vomited for 2 days and mr hankey said    ill grant you 2 wishes like a genie and matlu though hmmmm ill have to becareful cause if im not specific my  wish will get screwd up

[The_Gu3st]

... and then Matlu wanted to have s3x0r! So he r4p3d the pr33ty girl 4n1ma. Anima enjoyed in throughly.

[eddie]

but then he wondered... if a drummer accidentily picked up 2 magic wands insted of drum sticks, he would turn the bass player into a meatball or something