Decent jokes

[Stitchy_11]

Post your good jokes here, keep good taste in mind even tho i have some pretty funny dead baby jokes......lol

[Stitchy_11]

Three women are stranded on an island and they all get one wish brunette goes first and says i wanna be smart and i wanna get off this island so the genie makes her a boat and she gets off the island, red head goes next and asks for the same thing, genie makes her a plane and she flies home, blonde goes last and says i wanna be the smartest and i want to get off the island, so the genie turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge!

[Stitchy_11]

Why is a blonde like a shotgun?.....giv'em a c@ck and their ready to blow!!!

[Stitchy_11]

A blonde goes to pick up her friend at the airport, but she sees a sign that says "airport left" so she turns around and goes home.

If you gave a blonde a penny for her thoughts, u'd get change back

How can you tell a blonde has been at a computer??? There is a condom on the "joy-stick" and whitout on the screen.

How do you confuse a blonde??? tell her to sit in the corner of a circular room for 5 minutes. How does she confuse you??? Comes out and says shes finished!!!

[Stitchy_11]

How do you castrate a cowboy??? Kick his sister in the jaw!!!

[Parsley]

Stitchy... deleted those racist jokes - they were sick buddy.  Any more, and the topic is locked.

[Dodger]

Not racist, sexist.  This thread had a promising start....

Here's a clean blonde joke...

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.

Lame...

[Parsley]

Sexist I don't mind - girls can give as good as they get.

The racist ones he posted were just unecessarily rude though.   

[Dodger]

I can't see any racist ones...He must have deleted them beofre I saw. My apologies.

[haferhole1]

Yo momma's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo momma's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the
salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

[Bakster]

There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"



Anima, Parsley and The_Guest were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and Anima said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

Parsley opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The_Guest opened his lunch and said, "Bologna" again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

The next day Anima opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.

Parsley opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.

The_Guest opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral Anima's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

Parsley's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at The_Guest's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "he makes his own lunch."



A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.

Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.

Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, she shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"



President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?" "Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"



Three women are about to be executed.

One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette.

Two guards brings the blonde forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the blonde yells, "earthquake!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the brunette had figured out what the others did.

The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The brunette shouts, "fire!!"



A redhead and a blonde are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening. The blonde bets the redhead $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump.

"I'll take that bet," the redhead replied.

A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. The blonde, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the redhead and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50.

"No, a bet's a bet," the redhead replies, "I owe you $50 dollars."

The blonde, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the 3:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out."

"That's okay," the redhead replies, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

[Parsley]

 

[haferhole1]

lmao

[Stitchy_11]

Yea uh parsley sry bout those jokes wont happen again. Wasnt intended to be rude!!!

[Stitchy_11]

p.s. im not racist..... i hate everyone equally!! lol jj i'm not a hater