rules to live by

veteran dawg · October 12, 2005, 09:05:49 AM

A virgin never drives a Z28.

more to come

Slayer_Z · October 12, 2005, 09:08:58 AM

A pimp never sais ' I love you too"
just to get laid

veteran dawg · October 12, 2005, 09:14:57 AM

Never fry bacon without a shirt on.

Slayer_Z · October 12, 2005, 12:06:34 PM

you stole that from me didnt you.
I have the scrs to prove it.
are you following mr you perv?

Parsley · October 12, 2005, 12:27:39 PM

Top 10 Rules to Live by (ala Handey - http://snl.jt.org/deep/index.phtml?i=1)

10. When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if
they ever press charges.

9. Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his
head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

8. If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets
right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

7. If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe
you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey,
free dummy.

6. If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is
"God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to
tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

5. If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends
are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you
were swimming.

4. To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

3. If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.

2. Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.

1. Don't ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like I did once, because the faster you go, the later you think you are.

Bakster · October 12, 2005, 10:59:08 PM

Everything in life exists to piss me off.

veteran dawg · October 13, 2005, 07:09:25 AM

She didn't accidently get good in bed

Slayer_Z · October 13, 2005, 03:01:46 PM

If you hae been humpin her for a month and a half, and you havent met any of her friends, your NOT her boyfriend.

Slayer_Z · October 13, 2005, 03:36:31 PM

Never take raisens from rabbits

mInGaN · October 13, 2005, 07:02:02 PM

Take every opportunity, never be afraid to do what you want and don't live life with regrets.

veteran dawg · October 14, 2005, 05:40:17 AM

Never piss off anyone wearing camouflage.

Bakster · October 14, 2005, 07:44:09 PM

Don't die until you really have to.

Dodger · October 14, 2005, 08:33:08 PM

Quote from: Bakster on October 14, 2005, 07:44:09 PM
Don't die until you really have to.

Even then, try not to.

veteran dawg · October 15, 2005, 12:42:26 AM

If there are guns in the house one better be yours.

Silencer · October 16, 2005, 12:03:18 PM

Quote from: Slayer_Z on October 13, 2005, 03:01:46 PM
If you hae been humpin her for a month and a half, and you havent met any of her friends, your NOT her boyfriend.

aren't those the best "relationships" to be in? who the hell wants commitment...lmao, if shes hot and im bangin her...i could give 2 shits less about meeting her friends

rules to live by

mInGaN