Riddles!

[Dodger]

I AM SMARTER THAN A CHIMP! 

[ultswordsman]

but the chimp took the bananas from u ape took the stick from i dont know and gorilla punched u...ur the dum1

[ultswordsman]

A rich old man has died. After his death, his children are surprised to learn that he has left all of his money to his oldest son Jeremiah, who loved him dearly, and ignored his other children, who hated him.

So, the funeral is a day or two later, and the other sons and daughters have decided to kill Jeremiah and take his inheritance. Since his father's death, Jeremiah has taken to drinking, and they know that, at the wake, he's going to be gulping down the liquor like it was nectar of the gods. So they decide to poison the drinks. One of the other sons, Wallace, tends bar, and gets the poison all ready.

So Jeremiah comes up, crying and depressed, and orders a scotch on the rocks. Wallace serves him one, and he chugs it down in two seconds. "Give me another." Wallace gives him a second glass of scotch, which he also drinks in a matter of moments. The other siblings are puzzled...the poison is fast-acting; Jeremiah should be convulsing on the floor and retching his guts out. Finally, fifteen minutes later, a rather inebriated and very much alive Jeremiah orders one last glass of scotch, but as Wallace hands it to him, he changes his mind and leaves, sobbing. The other siblings come over to Wallace, and wonder what's going on. They talk about what could have gone wrong for a few minutes, and figure the poison's harmless. So Wallace sips the drink he poured for Jeremiah, and is pronounced DOA thirty minutes later.

Why did Jeremiah live? (He had no immunity to the poison, he didn't know it was coming, and the poison was obviously deadly.)

he drank so fast the poisen didnt have time to affect him or the poisen was in the ice and it didnt have time to be released

[ultswordsman]

What goes in the blank?


   _  T  T  F  F
   S  S  E  N  T
   E  T  T  F  F
   S  S  E  N  T

e

[haferhole1]

he drank so fast the poisen didnt have time to affect him or the poisen was in the ice and it didnt have time to be released

dam u, i told u the answer on aim like a week ago 

[haferhole1]

umm, spine?

[Dodger]

e

It's not e.

[willie]

What goes in the blank?


   _  T  T  F  F
   S  S  E  N  T
   E  T  T  F  F
   S  S  E  N  T

O
one two three four five
six seven eight nine ten
eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen
sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty
HEY, I CAN COUNT!   :o  but i need the first letters of the numbers to sorta guide me through....IM AS SMART AS A CHIMP

[Parsley]

My riddle, as poached from Labyrinth.

Bob was standing in front of two gates, and in front of the gates are two guardians.

An inscription in front of you reads, 'Welcome to the gateway. One door leads to hell and eternal damnation, one leads to heaven and eternal glory.  In front of one door is an agent of satan, who always lies.  In front of the other is an angel of heaven who always speaks the truth. You may ask one question, and then must choose your path, so ask wisely.'

What should he ask, and which door should he choose? 

[Dodger]

My riddle, as poached from Labyrinth.

Bob was standing in front of two gates, and in front of the gates are two guardians.

An inscription in front of you reads, 'Welcome to the gateway. One door leads to hell and eternal damnation, one leads to heaven and eternal glory. In front of one door is an agent of satan, who always lies. In front of the other is an angel of heaven who always speaks the truth. You may ask one question, and then must choose your path, so ask wisely.'

What should he ask, and which door should he choose?

I have the Labarinth so I know the answer, but I won't ruin it for you all

[Parsley]

Ahh.. but she got it wrong in the film (!)

[Dodger]

She did? Oh yeah....It led her to the pit of eternal stench lol. I remember....Okay, but I can guess the right answer.....probably.

[Bakster]

Isn't that a tad obvious?

Ask the truthful one "Which is the door to heaven?"

[ultswordsman]

ask which 1 is to heaven angel points to his and devil points to his so u take the path the angels on

[Parsley]

I didn't really make this riddle very clear at all, did I... but I was trying to describe it from a film.  Okay -

You can ask ONE of them ONE question.

You can't tell which door is which, and you can't tell which guardian is which - both sets look the same.

One always lies, the other always tells the truth.

What question do you ask & which door do you choose?

[ed. For Willie - okay, make the assumption that hell is whatever is worst for you, and heave is whatever is best for you]