Best Novel Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[flamingdragon]

For example, I hope you don't mind, but I edited the first paragraph.

Many years ago, in the almost forgotten ages of old, there were once two Empires wreathed in all consuming war. The origins of this war had been lost to time, but the future looked bleak, and the war untameable. The two Empires, known as Mekanakor and the evil Hakarion, were currently pouring all of their resources into capturing the Ancient Relic of Hara-Nor, for it had been said that it's mystical powers could grant immortality to any who unleashed it's potential.

That is good.

[The_Crusade]

I second that.

[Dodger]

That is good.

Use it if you want

Hope you get what I meant now...

[flamingdragon]

I already wrote chapters 1-3 before posting the revised prologue, however I'll try to do better on the ones coming after them.

Chapter 1 â€" The Arrival
   
   Tanas woke up and looked around. All around him was a barren desert. He started wandering through the barren desert, walking everywhere until after what seemed forever, he spotted a small desert village hovering in the distance. He ran into the city as fast as he could on the brink of dehydration. The town was completely deserted when he got there, with nothing in site in any direction whatsoever. He decided that if he didn’t drink something soon then he would die, so he decided to break into one of the houses. He managed to get inside one of the houses, where he got some food and water and began to eat. Just as he was finishing he heard a loud thundering noise coming from the west. He quickly ran to the window to see that hundreds of horsemen were riding his way. It then struck him that these were the villagers of the town. He heard them talking about the yearly Great Hunt that they hold. Tanas thought how extremely unlucky he must have been for them to be gone for the day he arrived. Tanas was found and immediately arrested by the town guard for theft and breaking and entering. He was in no position to fight, with no weapon, so he surrendered. His crime was a huge atrocity as the people in that town rarely commit a crime. He was thrown into prison and a date was then set for him to be executed, in one week’s time. Tanas wasted away in the empty dungeons for a week until finally the time came for him to be executed. He was escorted into the town square for a public execution. All the villagers came to see the execution. Tanas neck was to be chopped off with an axe.  Tanas was brought up to the platform, leaned his head over the table and… just then five people came riding up into the town square on horses. Just as the executioners axe came down, they shot it out of his hand with an arrow. The executioner, enraged, charged at them, however the town leader intervened and stopped him and declared the execution postponed. Tanas looked up and saw five soldiers under his command, then he was knocked in the back of the head and blacked out. Tanas was carted back off to the jail cells, meanwhile the Mekanakorian troops explained their situation to the town leader, Athelos. He believed their story; however there was nothing he could do. He explained to them that the people would not settle with Tanas being released, and that someone needed to be punished. However, he told them, there was nothing he could do about the prisoner “escaping”, and he gave them the plans to the prison. Later that night, they snuck into the prison in an attempt to free Tanas. They easily knocked out the guard from behind and took the keys. They quickly freed the still unconscious Tanas and escaped outside of the prison. When they arrived outside, they heard screams and clashing of steel. He asked a running townsperson what was going on and he yelled that they were under attack from bandits, whose numbers had suddenly bolstered. They decided to get out of there while they still could; in the escape they saw the armor of a troop of the Hakarion Empire. They ran faster, carrying Tanas, and escaped into the darkness…..

Chapter 2 â€" Allies

   Tanas awakened in a camp someway away from the city, he saw his soldiers in the camp around him. Well, five of them Cesak, Aelasu, Storm, Vorque, and Adaria. Cesak was a huge, strong warrior, Aelasu, a war-mage, Storm, a knight, Vorque, a swordsman, and Adaria, an archer. They told him what had happened after they had all charged into the room. Tanas had been knocked out by a blow from an enemy soldier, when the relic of Hara-Nor had somehow teleported them all to this strange place. Tanas had appeared somewhere else perhaps because he was unconscious. Then them, with the rest of their force thirty strong, had appeared in another part of the desert. Surrounded by the hundred strong Hakarion army. It was a tough fight, but they managed to somehow fight there way threw and escape to the city. They killed very few Hakarion troops, and they were all that was left of the original thirty. “But why did they join up with bandits and attack the city, Tanas said. “Most likely they came for this”, Aelasu said as he pulled the relic of Hara-Nor from out of his robes. “We managed to steal it from the Hakarion general as we were escaping”, said Cesak. However it wouldn’t be long before the Hakarion troops realized they were not in the city and come looking for them. They traveled around the desert seeking shelter from the bandits and Hakarion troops. Eventually in the distance, they saw a sparkling city. When they started nearing the city, they heard horses thundering behind them and it sounded like an earthquake.
They made a run for the city and eventually they made it to the gates just as the horses were almost on them. They quickly told the gatekeeper they were being attacked by bandits and he opened the gates for them, the gates then tightly shut closed as the bandits came up to it with dust trailing behind them….

Chapter 3 â€" The Avengeance

   Tanas and his party had arrived to the City of Abydos, The leader of the town, Ashelenor, had agreed to let them stay within the walls of the city after they had explained their plight to them. Abydos was the main trading center of this province; however the bandits had been stopping most of the trade by ransacking the caravans. They did not have enough warriors within the town to drive the bandits off now that the Hakarion’s had joined up with them. They stayed with Ashelenor for hours thinking up a plan to defeat the bandits. However someone was required to make it all work. Storm boldly volunteered himself to take on the daring mission. There was only one thing they needed, to get the bandits to attack the city instead of depleting their food.  And there was only one thing they had that the bandits wanted……….…the relic. They had previously inspected the relic, however it bore only writing they could not read, there seemed to be no special way to activate it. For now, the device was useless, however the Hakarion’s were not aware of that. They would have to use the relic to lure the enemy close to the city in order for their plan to work. The city gates opened and they threw the relic out into the sand. Meanwhile a scout of the Hakarion’s sees this, he runs to tell their commander of the news. A bandit scout however saw it to, and decided they wanted it for themselves; they planned to betray the Hakarion’s and attack them. The Hakarion general decides to send everyone immediately to get the relic, since he decided that it could be a trap, but his entire force combined with the bandits could destroy any threat that they faced. That was just what the makanakorians hoped for. The bandits decided they would strike the Hakarion’s just before they retrieved the relic. The bandits and Hakarion’s set out towards the relic. Just as they were getting near, an airship launched from the city, it was an old airship, falling apart, it had been dragged out of a storage in the city so it could be of use, on board was a single passenger, Storm. In the distraction, the bandits turned on the Hakarion’s, they were caught by surprise and their commander cursed the bandits and retreated with a dozen soldiers out of the battle. Just then the city catapults fired, the bandits charged the city and began shooting the airship, but stopped dead when they were splashed with not a boulder from the catapults, but oil. The catapults were firing barrels full of oil at them. Just then, there was an explosion, the bandits efforts were finally pulling through and part of the airship had exploded. “What could they be thinking, hoping that that airship could possibly pose a threat to us”, the bandit leader said. The airship was disabled and slowly falling toward the ground, with explosions happening all around it, just then the bandit leader notices that and looks around at all his men covered in oil, just then one of the explosions from the airship hit the ground, the dessert was set ablaze with flames…

[flamingdragon]

I see no one responded to this because it shocked them with it's awesomeness.

BTW, what the hell is with all those "â€"s in it, I'm sure those weren't there before........

[Dodger]

Stuff like that shags up sometimes. Looks like they used to be apostrophes.